Marylanza Aparthotel - Los Cristianos - Tenerife

May 2009 - me & my girlfriend stayed at the Marylanza Aparthotel in Los Cristianos, supposedly a “4*” or “5t”. I have stayed in many hotels from two star right up to 5 star & I wouldn’t say this was a 4 or 5 quality, its an average 3star! The reception area was very nice, looked pretty plush & was very clean.

Our room looked very clean, with a big balcony. The maids were in every day which we couldn’t fault at all.
However, every night there was a high pitched frequency noise which sounded like an electrical fault or something coming from in the walls. It stopped us sleeping so I reported it - daily and sometimes in the middle of the night to reception because we couldn’t sleep. On the day before we left, they decided to offer us another room - not much use as we went 5 nights with little sleep! I don’t know whether it is an hotel fault or whether it is normal, but at night we had 3 cockroaches in our bathroom.

I have to say that the spa looked lovely but just too expensive! For an hour & half you are looking to pay over £20 to use it! And that’s not for any treatments! My girlfriend is a beauty therapist & all the treatments are very expensive compared with back home.

There are two pools, the larger of them is slightly heated which is actually quite nice. Was disappointed by the size of them but they were nice. There aren’t that many sun-beds in comparison to the amount of guests so you have to do the German style get up & reserve or you won’t have one because others reserve. Also you will find that about a third of them are old & broken! I found this disgusting for a 4/5 star hotel as well.

The food was nice with plenty of selection. Fresh meat & fish being freshly grilled. However, the food was repetitive, it was more a less the same food every day. The a la carte restaurant was never open. And the “themed” food nights that are advertised never happened. But we always found something we liked to eat so could have been worse.

Oh my God, I have never ever been in an hotel with entertainment as shocking as the Marylanza provides. The daytime activities are just diabolical - one poor woman is having a right job trying to make people happy from the poor facilities that the hotel has provided her. And the night time well, I wouldn’t even dream of staying round the hotel. Karaoke nights - one woman organises it singing & nobody else (and she is bad). If it isn’t karaoke then you have the piano man- prepare to be bored to death!

What makes it worse is that the bar isn’t separate - its like you are sat at reception in the lobby. Well I suppose you are.

You get some really really nice staff, & we had some that were just grumpy.

Overall: I would say that is you are going expecting a 4 or 5 start hotel then you will be disappointed for sure. There were plenty of people we talked to who weren’t very happy, & I’m pretty confident it won’t be in Thomson Platinum range next season. But if you go expecting a 3 star then you will be happy with what you get.